


Kawarama

by Betsunichan



Series: Madatobi family [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Good dad butsuma, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 02:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14906532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betsunichan/pseuds/Betsunichan
Summary: In an alter Universe Senju Tobirama is the youngest of Butsuma's sons. Tobirama was only five or four years old when Kawarama died.Kawarama's marked the end and beginning of an new era.





	Kawarama

**Author's Note:**

> At the beginning of the story Tobirama is five years old and Hashirama is thirteen years old.

“Hey, tobes!” Kawarama called while running to Tobirama from the other side of the field. 

  
  


“Don't call me that! My name is Tobirama!”, an five years old Tobirama yelled back, briefly forgetting his training with the sword. Sweat running down his face and his arms trembling by the effort. He has been swinging the wood sword for what it felt like hours. 

  
  


“Yeah, yeah!”, Kawarama stopped next to Tobirama. “Anyway, don't you want to go with me and hunt a rabbit for lunch? Touka’s mom said that if we trap enough rabbits she will do her special Rabbit soup for us!” 

  
  


“I can't, father told me I should swing this sword until he comes back,” Tobirama replied seriously and went back to training. He needed to be stronger and more skilled if he wanted to fight alongside his brother on the front line. He hated to be the only one staying at home with the kids, the married women and the few elders. He also wanted to be a warrior as his brothers. 

  
  


“But Tobiramaaaa! It is Touka’s mom special soup! The one she only cook for birthdays!”

  
  


“I don't like rabbit that much”

  
  


“Oh, you should stop!” Kawarama said, catching the wood sword with both hands. “You are red as an apple!, and your legs shake like jelly.” Tobirama tried to push Kawarama away but he snatched the word and threw the white haired boy to the ground. “Time to rest, Tobes!” the brunet said, pointing the sword at his brother. 

  
  


“Gave me back the sword!,” Tobirama yelled and threw himself to Kawarama, which stepped to the sade. Tobirama fell to the ground and sat up, glaring at his brother while he laughed at him. Tobirama threw himself to Kawarama with the same result. 

  
  


“You are too stubborn, Tobes!” 

  
  


“Don't call me that!”

  
  


“Kawarama, Tobirama!,” Itama came running at them, ignoring the one-sided fight. As always Kawarama teased Tobirama until he exploded and tried to punch kawarama in the face. “Touka’s mom said that she will cook her special rabbit soup for us today! We need to hunt them now if we want to eat it at lunch and dinner.” 

  
  


“Yes, I know! I told Tobes, but he doesn't want to help!,” Kawarama said, releasing his chokehold over Tobirama an still persistent Tobirama. 

  
  


“What? Why not Tobirama? You don't like it?” Itama brown eyes fell over a blushed Tobirama. 

  
  


“Is not that!,” Tobirama pushed back Kawarama, which let him go. “Father told me I should kept training until he came back!”

  
  


“But, Tobirama! Father is not going to come back, he and other men went to the border an hour ago!,” Itama gasped surprised. Tobirama opened wide his eyes and pressed his lips together, while Kawarama laughed loudly at him. 

  
  


“Ha, ha, as always the old man forgot what was he doing!” Kawarama said. Tobirama lowered his burned face and balled his fist while Itama petted his youngest brother head. Kawarama, Hashirama and him were used to their father forgetting he was suppose to train him, so they most of the time stopped if their father didn't came back after a while, but Tobirama was a sensor and most of the trained with their uncle Keitaro. So the little Tobirama wasn't used to their father bad habit.

  
  


“Itama, Kawarama, Tobirama,” Hashirama came to them, running from the opposite direction Kawarama and Itama came. “Touka’s mom said she will cook us her special soup…”

  
  


“- We know!,” Itama and Kawarama answered at the same time. 

  
  


“Then, what we are waiting for! We must hurry if we want to eat it for lunch and dinner!,” Hashirama said and ran towards the wood followed by Itama and Kawarama.

  
  


When Kawarama realized Tobirama wasn't following them, he stopped and looked back. “What are you doing, Tobes?,” he asked. 

  
  


“What if he didn't forget about me and when he comes back he didn't found me?,” Tobirama asked shyly. 

  
  


Kawarama ran back to Tobirama and took his hand. “Father isn't going to come back, now let's go!” Kawarama said, and pulled his brother with him. 

  
  


“What are you doing?,” Hashirama yelled at them from ten meters for them. Itama also came back for them, and was looking at his youngest brother curiously. “Why are you so slow?”

  
  


“It's not my fault that Tobes’ legs are so short!,” Kawarama yelled. 

  
  


“I'm not short!,” Tobirama yelled, freeing himself of Kawarama old again, to ran as fast he could to Hashirama. As always Kawarama laughed at him.

  
  


That noon they caught as many rabbit they could, being Kawarama the one that hunted the most with four rabbits and Tobirama the worst without hunting any rabbit by his own. When it was Lunch, they ate Touka’s mom special soup until they were full and after they took a nap together. They were sleep when they father came back, he was so angry with them for slacking of that they didn't get dinner that night. Tobirama’s older brothers were forced to run three laps around the village, while Tobirama rested next his father on a ruck near the wood wall of the compound. Tobirama didn't run with his brothers because Butsuma said his legs were too short to run fast enough, and he didn't want to wait until midnight for his youngest son to finish his laps. Tobirama was so mad for being too young to train with his brothers that he was pouting sat next his father, while the man was putting unguent overs his sunburns. 

  
  


Later that night, Itama confessed to Tobirama that he didn't run with them because their father felt guilty of forgetting him in the sun. Later, Kawarama and Hashirama teased him about being their father’s favorite son. 

  
  


…………………………….

  
  


The next year, after Tobirama fist mission as a Ninja, he came back at the village and found an escene he would never forget. 

  
  


Tobirama was running back home, excited to tell his family about his performance in his first Mission. He wanted to see the face Kuwarama will show when he told him, he tracked with problem a group of Hatake in their territory. In his way, he found a large group of ninjas with solemn faces, which mean someone important died. Tobirama walked slowly towards the group knowing his father would be there, he only wished they wasn't someone important for their clan. It was always a headache when someone important died, his father was angrier and more strict than usual. In his way to the center of the group - and probably his father- all the people around Tobirama looked at him. Tobirama arched his eyebrow when he recognized Itama’s cries, then he see it. Over a dirty white mantle was Kawarama’s body without his armor or any other precious object, just as the rest of his team. Kawarama body was full of cuts and his clothes were stained by dry and dark blood, but he wasn't burned as his deceased fellows. Kawarama eyes were open, his lips swollen, his body hard and taut as a rock and his hands cold like a river stone. 

  
  


Tobirama saw his father's shivering hands checking overs Kawarama’s body. It surprised Tobirama how cautious his father's hands were over Kawarama’s body, how wet his father eyes were - it almost looked like his father was about to cry-, or how strong he hugged Kawarama’s body against his body. Tobirama stayed in there in silence, analyzing what he was seeing while Hashirama threw himself next to his father, yelling something Tobirama didn't understand, and Itama cried painfully on the ground while hitting the dirt under him. 

  
  


Tobirama stayed there in silence, watching everything and asking himself why he didn't felt like crying. He wasn't an stupid boy, he might be barely six years old, but he was smart enough to understand what was death. He have seen death all his life, from the animals they hunt for dinner to the family and acquaintances that go to the battleground and come back in pieces. People which weren't going to fight or work for the clan again, which he was never going to see again… 

  
  


Tobirama was surprised when Touka hugged him with all her strength. Tobirama didn't respond, he knew he should hug back his cousin to comfort her, but he couldn't move his body and neither he feel like it. Touka’s arms were warm but at the same time they were strangely void and inconvenient. It was so uncomfortable! He wanted it to get over but Touka didn't release him. Then, Tobirama’s red eyes jumped over his father figure looking at his dead brother while Itama was now hugging his dead brother, and Hashirama tremble. No! Tobirama was actually staring at Kawarama’s face, trying to memories every feature in his face. It looked like if Kawarama’s butt was kicked around by Touka. Tobirama knew that Kawarama was dead, but he couldn't stop thinking that his brothers was going to move and laugh loudly while pointing at him. Just as Kawarama did some many times before. 

  
  


Then Tobirama realized hot tears were falling from his eyes. He wasn't stupid or slow but he finally understood that Kawarama wasn't going to say more stupid things. Kawarama wasn't going to hide under the oak’s root with him, or fell under Touka’s tricks or won against Hashirama in throwing shuriken, and he neither was going to invent stupid excuses when he father discovered him slacking off. There wasn't going to be an annoying Kuwarama trying to steal his rabbit soup in any party. 

  
  


“Tobirama,” Butsuma called him and Touka released him, fat tear falling for her face. Tobirama parted his eyes from Kawarama’s face and looked at his father with a distressed expression. “ Stop crying. Death is an old friend to all Shinobis, you need to get used to it”.

  
  


Tobirama eyebrows arched in confusion. Then Hashirama looked back and stood up, his warm brown eyes were wet with tears, and he hugged Tobirama tightly against his chest. And Tobirama hugged him back with all his strength, he didn't wanted to hug his oldest brother but Hashirama was such a crybaby he needed someone to hug him. The brunette lowered his head and whispered at Tobirama’s ear. “Don't cry, Tobes, we will see him again in the pure land.” Tobirama’s eyes rose and looked at Hashirama, which had a strained smile. To Hashirama surprise, Tobirama cried harder. 

  
  


Tobirama wasn't stupid, he didn't believed in those tales from the elders and he knew there wasn't an afterlife. When you die you disappear, just as the rabbits they killed for dinner disappeared from the woods or the dead Senju disappeared from the compound. When people die they stop existing, because humans aren't anything special in comparison with other living things. Tobirama wasn't going to see his brother again! 

  
  


“Tobi…” Hashirama said, parting himself from Tobirama. 

  
  


“-What did you tell him, asshole?,” Touka asked, punching Hashirama at the head. 

  
  


“I only told him we were gonna see Kawarama in the after life!,” Hashirama answered. Then Touka called him a liar and they briefly bickered, until Butsuma shut them up. His father went towards Tobirama, graped his shoulder and pulled him towards Kawamara’s body. “Say farewell to your brother,” Butsuma said before walk away, there were things he needed to go. Itama let go of Kawamara and looked at Tobirama with red eyes, the white haired boy sat next to his dead brother and reached for his hands. Tobirama never forgot the touch of Kawarama’s cold and stiff hands in all his life. When he got older and he had his own family, he always hold his husband and son’s hands when they were sick or injured; because soft and warm hands means an alive love one.

  
  


…………………. 

  
  


Tobirama was standing with his brothers and father in front of Kawarama’s grave while some of their clansmen were covering his coffin with dirt. Butsuma was telling them about how vile were the Uchiha, how brave and dignified Kawarama dead was on the battlefield. Then he began to talk about Kawarama’s mistakes that delivered him in dying. Tobirama barely could understand what he was saying, he heard the words but they weren't anything but background noise. All Tobirama could do was staring at Kawarama’s coffin. Tobirama felt a phantom pain in his chest and the heaviness in his body. The youngest son could barely move, think or breath; everything was so painful. 

  
  


**“Then children must be sacrificed?”**

  
  


Tobirama snapped back at reality at Hashirama words, Tobirama barely looked to his left when their father punched his brother in the face, sending to the ground. 

  
  


“I will not allow Kawarama to be disrespected! He fought and died as a full-fledged Shinobi! He was not a child!,” Butsuma yelled. Tobirama and Itama looked at their father while Hashirama was still in the ground. The young Tobirama accepting all of his father's words. Then his father walked away of them. 

  
  


“Older brother Hashirama, are you ok?” Itama asked, lowering over Hashirama. Tobirama also did it, but he didn't said anything, his father word's still present in his head. Besides, why was Hashirama trying to archive by defying their father? 

 

Hashirama didn't answer Itama, instead he looked at them and stood up. “The Senju, 

  
  
  


When Butsuma was about to punch Hashirama again, Tobirama stood before his father. 

  
  


His father went away and they stayed behind. They talked-about how senseless and meaningless was the fight between Senju and Uchiha. It was a circle of hate in Hashirama’s perspective, a circle in which Itama and most of their clan was already trapped. Tobirama told them that a peace trate between Uchiha and Senju was the only solution, the only way to end this meaningless fight. A wishful and stupid idea coming from youngest of them, but Hashirama and Itama kept it in their hearts. 

  
  


Back then, the Senju Brothers didn't realized that Kawarama’s death marked the end of their childhood and planted the seed of Hashirama’s life dream. 

 

….. 

  
  


Tobirama was running through the forest when he came across to a known path in the woods. The boy stood under a tall tree shadow and looked at the path with sad eyes. Tobirama turned to his left and ran in parallel to the path. It was stupid not to use a perfectly useful path when he was in a hurry, but he couldn't take that path. Because it was the path Kawarama-and his older brother- used to take when they wanted to take a pleasure walk in the woods. It went from the nearest village to the river, the same river Hashirama liked so much to fool around. The same one that was near the border of the Senju’s clan lands with the Uchiha. 

  
  


Tobirama hasn't taken that path since Kawarama died. Tobirama just couldn't walk that path, because there were so many memories of his lost brother when he walked it. 

  
  


At the beginning of the path - in the portion closest to the Senju compound - - there was an old oak. Kawarama loved so much that oak that he carved his name on the bark with a Kunai when he was six. The oak’s root were Kawarama favorite place to rest and his secret hidespot, which he shared with little and dense Tobirama. The youngest brother was sometimes pulled under the oak’s roots by Kawarama. Most of the time, it happened after Kawarama did something stupid and he wanted to protect Tobirama from the shitstorm he provoked, leaving most of the time Itama to suffer the consequences of Kawarama’s planks. Tobirama recalled an occasion in which Kawarama pulled him under the tree, and they hide in there for almost six hours. Kawarama and Hashirama stole Touka’s favorite Narigata and hide it inside one of Itama’s storage scroll. She was so pissed off that Kawarama knew she was able to torture anyone in her path - even innocent little ‘Tobes’- to get back her Narigata. She got back her weapon when Hashirama opened his mouth, after being ashamed in front of the girl he liked back then, and Touka waited patiently for Kawarama to get back at his house to catch him. 

  
  


Tobirama also avoided that path because he didn't want to see those silly statues of some archaic gods with horns and strange eyes, which Kawarama used to mimic each time they passed by. Tobirama neither wanted to see that bush with orange berries, which Kawarama and Itama were tricked to eat by Touka and they almost died of intoxication. His two brothers were so sick from eating those berries that they didn't went to train for almost a week. 

  
  


Tobirama stopped in his steps and looked back at the old oak for afar, the tree was so tall it crow was visible from the other tree tops. It didn't matter what Tobirama did, he couldn't stop thinking about his brother. Kawarama was considered a prodigy for the adult of his clan, but even with all his talent he wasn't able to escape from death. Their father said that Kawarama was too impulsive and emotional for his own good -something all the Senju brothers had in common- but maybe, Tobirama would be able to trick the death and survive until adulthood if he killed his feelings. A Shinobi without feeling and cold minded is what every Shinobi should aspire, in Butsuma’s words, but it was also the path to a longer life. That was the conclusion the younger Tobirama arrived, the one he will tell himself every time his feelings were trying to go out of control. But the reality was that Tobirama admired and loved Kawarama, and with his lost something inside of him died, a part of him that he never thought he would ever be able to recover. Tobirama decided to kill his feelings because he didn't wanted to feel the same pain again. If he didn't loved anyone as he loved Kawarama, then he wasn't going to suffer again as he did. Death was a part of a Shinobi live and as such, Tobirama was going to lose more love ones in his life. 

  
  


After all, when someone we love die something of us die with them. 

  
  


…… 

  
  


a year after Kawarama’s death, Tobirama recognized that he wasn't the only one affected. In the last year his father began to yell at them more than ever - even for little things he would have ignored back then- and he trained them twice as hard as he did before. Hashirama became more amorous with them than ever - always giving unasked hugs from nowhere - and recently, after another discussion with their father, Hashirama passed more time wandering in the woods. Hashirama said that he was training but his family knew that was bushit. Itama said that Hashirama needed to take time for himself and relax for the pressure of being the clan heir, while Touka suspected Hashirama’s got a girlfriend, and Butsuma was busy running the clan. Their father asked Tobirama to follow his older brother, and he did, but Tobirama wasn't interested in the stupid but handsome guy his brother was seeing. The Madara guy was a ninja, it was obvious, but he wasn't a good one. Madara and Hashirama were almost eight years older than him and the two fools haven't realized yet that he is spying on them. A good ninja would have realized! Besides, Madara is always making Hashirama to smile and that is a good thing. It isn't a bad thing if he overlooked it and let his older brother to be happy for a while, isn't it? 

  
  


By his Itama focused his training in being a medic nin, and dropped any other kind of training in favor to specialize in Chakra healing techniques.Some elders and ninjas believed Itama was scared of have the same fate that Kawarama - after all, the brunet was better than him in almost every skill a ninja needed- but Tobirama knew that Itama’s reason for becoming a medic was to be able to save his loved ones lives with his hands instead of a sword. Maybe it was a mixture of both, Itama didn't want to fight anymore in the front lines because he lacked the ability to hold his ground, and instead he decided to focus in something he was better at. Their father was against the idea of Itama’s being a medic nin at the beginning, he used to say that a man's place was in the battlefront and women were supposed to heal and attend the injured ninjas in the back lines. But one of Hashirama’s speech convinced their father to give Itama a chance. Tobirama also helped, when the youngest came back from his sensor trainings, he always told their father about the advantages of having an specialist in their clan and how helpful an specialist in sensing, tracking or  **healing** would be. But in the end, it was Itama itself which convinced Butsuma to approve such an uncommon specialization. After a furious battle against the Uchiha, they lost their best healer and Haruki, an old friend of his father, was stabbed in the lungs and no one of the Senju healers could perform their deceased healer was able to perform. But Itama, against all the clansman expectations, was able to perform a technique and save Haruki’s life. Since that moment, Butsuma respected his middle son’s decision to become a medic nin. 

  
  


Another interesting thing about Itama was that he developed the quirk of putting fresh flowers on Kawarama’s grave every day and sat before the stone for minutes. He talked to the grave not stop as if he was talking with a human being. Their father was worried about that unhealthy habit, while Hashirama brushed it off and Tobirama was only confused. Their father told Tobirama that a ninja shouldn't cling to a dead one, which was kind of stupid because almost the entire clan went to the battlefield looking revenge for their love ones, but apparently is healthier looking for revenge that talk to a stone. 

  
  


Tobirama passed most of his freetime spying over his brothers, in the morning he spied over Itama on the graveyard and in the afternoon he spied over Hashirama and his moronic friend. 

  
  


===========

  
  


Tobirama was over a tree branch watching over Itama, when his brother looked up at him with warm chocolate eyes filled with tears. Tobirama didn't moved, there wasn't any reason to move away and - maybe- if he didn't reacted Itama will ignored him. Itama closed his eyes and sighed loudly before scream to his younger brother, “I know you are here Tobirama, stop spying over me and sit next to me instead!”

  
  


Tobirama groaned and jumped down, landing two meters behind Itama. The older smile sweetly at Tobirama, while the youngman squinted al his brother. “Who did you know I was there?,” Tobirama asked. He was pissed, he was a extraordinary ninja, Itama shouldn't be able to know he was spying over him. 

  
  


“I have presentment you were watching over me,” Itama smiled wider and Tobirama tilted his head to the left. 

  
  


“Someone told you, wasn't it?,” Tobirama said with a bored expression, but his voice sounded annoyed. 

  
  


“Father told me,” Itama answered. Tobirama furrowed his face in confusion. “Father was talking in his dreams the other day, he was so tired from discussing with the elders that he fell asleep in the common room tatami, when I passed by he called your name and asked me to to follow myself.” Itama said snickering, looking directly at Tobirama shocked face. “Then I only had to watch carefully for any clue you were here,” Itama stopped smiling and looked ashamed at his younger brother. “It took me weeks to be able to properly locate him.”

  
  


“What I did wrong?,” Tobirama asked, walking towards his brother. “What gave away I was spying over you?,” Tobirama stared at Itama with a worried expression. Tobirama was supposed to be flawless, he needed Itama to told him what he did wrong. 

  
  


“I will tell you,” Itama said with a sweet smile, “but first, you should do something for me.” Tobirama squinted at Itama and furrowed his face in annoyance. 

  
  


“What do you want me to do?”

  
  


“I want you to come to visit Kawarama with me everyday for a week.” Tobirama arched an eyebrow in disbelief and askance. “To properly come to visit Kawarama with me,” Itama added, “I want you to sit next to me, pray with me, bring flowers for Kawarama and talk to him.” Itama pointed the stone in which Kawarama’s name was craved. 

  
  


Tobirama looked at the stone and then to his older brother, the white-haired man looked with confusion the stone. What was the use to do such a thing? Kawarama was dead, he has stopped to exist and he didn't know about anything Itama do or talk to his grave. The whole ritual to talk to Kawarama’s grave was useless and only served as Itama’s mechanism to cope with Kawarama lost. Tobirama wouldn't gain anything from lose his time doing such thing. 

  
  


“You are already spying over me and coming to the graveyard, it would be nicer and easier if you only sat next me.” Itama explained. Tobirama closed his eyes and nodded. Itama was right, it would be easier if he joined to his older brother's pitiful ritual. 

  
  


Tobirama sat next his brother with a tense stance, at his side Itama chuckled. “Kawarama must be laughing at you.” Tobirama’s furious red eyes landed over Itama and the older one stopped. For the first time Itama realized that Kawarama was still a touchy topic for Tobirama. Apparently, the youngest one wasn't as unaffected as he and Hashirama thought. Both of them barely saw Tobirama grief over Kawarama, or more exactly the youngest never talked about the topic - just as their father did- but as they should know, the biggest thing are most of the time untold. Tobirama avoided Kawarama’s topic because he didn't know how to deal with it, how to express his feelings, and he did care about it. Itama and Hashirama had openly griefing the last months over Kawarama’s death, but Tobirama hasn't, instead the white-haired boy has bottled down his feeling and kept them for himself. Such the worst thing you can do, because when you don't neglect your feeling you aren't able to properly. Deal with them. 

  
  


Itama looked back at Kawarama’s grave and said short after, “I'm sure that when we see him again, he will hunt a lot of rabbits for us”. Itama said with a smile, then he looked back at his brother. 

  
  


“Yes,” Tobirama said and closed his eyes. He wasn't able to break to Itama that they weren't going to see Kawarama again, because their brother exist more. Tobirama eyes opened and they looked at Itama, then to the stone. Tobirama lowered his head and red eyes analized with confusion the stone that represented Kawarama. 

  
  


“What is happening? Aren't you going to talk to him?,” Itama asked. Tobirama rose his eyes to Itama. 

  
  


Tobirama couldn't understand his brother strange quirk. What was the use to talk to that stone? Itama talked everyday with Kawarama’s grave as if their brother was able to hear him out, but Kawarama was dead and he couldn't hear Itama or Hashirama or him. There wasn't anything before him but a memento of his brother's death. There wasn't anyone to hear him. It was useless to talk to an stone. 

  
  


“Tobirama,” Itama called. 

  
  


“I already did,” Tobirama lied.

  
  


Itama sat next to him and crossed his arms, pouting and glaring at his little brother. “Don't lie, you haven't talked to him” he said. 

  
  


“Why should I?,” Tobirama groaned, “I feel like a fool do it.”

  
  


“Do it Tobirama!,” Itama said angry. Tobirama furrowed his face in annoyance and groaned. Itama, as any other any other always smiling people, was kind of scary when he was angry. 

  
  


Tobirama laid a hand over the stone and said, “I miss you.” The white-haired boy rose his eyes, asking to his brother if that was enough talking for today. Itama hard eyes over him told Tobirama that he needed to talk a little more. “I will never going to forget you.”

  
  


“Yes, we are never going to forget about you.” Itama has said, resting his hand next to Tobirama’s, while tears were already falling from Itama’s face


End file.
